Lindsay Lohan Back From India, Doing Good Deeds

After myriad tales of Lindsay Lohan being a train wreck, Lindsay Lohan's career going down in flames, Lindsay Lohan's father being insane, and every guy/girl in L.A. seeing Lindsay Lohan nude, we're happy to report a positive story about her!

Lohan returned to the U.S. from India Saturday. There, she visited the country's most impoverished areas to film a documentary about human trafficking.

"Lindsay is home from India now. I am so proud of her for going," Dina Lohan said Sunday of her eldest daughter, who arrived at LAX Airport Saturday.

The 23-year-old visited the Sanlaap women's and children's shelter outside Calcutta, which houses female victims of trafficking and other forms of exploitation.

The troubled star and desperate muse spent about hours with residents and watched performances by children, donning traditional Indian clothing.

Lindsay Lohan also visited hospitals to give gifts to sick children.

The actress traveled around India with a camera crew from the BBC and her friend, stylist Patrick Aufdenkamp, who Tweeted, "Can't wait for everyone to see the documentary of [Lindsay] with the incredibly brave children we met."

Lohan herself took to Twitter to say that visiting India was "the most amazing time of my life," she wrote. "Focusing on celebrities and lies is so disconcerting, when we can change the world one child at a time.... hope everyone can see that."

We can't believe we're saying it, but good job Lindsay!

Chris Brown Says Stores

Chris Brown, in the midst of a major comeback effort after spending most of 2009 dealing with the fallout from his assault on Rihanna, just released Graffiti.

You'd think this (and his 20/20 interview) would be the first major step toward closing the book on the grisly incident, but Brown says it's still haunting him.

He isn't happy with the distribution of his new album, and threw a temper tantrum on Twitter over the weekend regarding retailers refusing to carry the CD.

"Major stores blackballing my CD. Not stockin the shelves, lying to customers. What the f%*k do i gotta do," the singer said. "The industry can kiss my a$$."

Okay then.

Chris Brown is telling us how he really feels.

Lest we believe he was kidding or just caught up in the moment: "WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting sh!t and im not biting my tongue about sh!t else."

And finally, this message to the haters in the Twitterverse: "for those people who r constantly tweeting me wit bullsh!t.. hop off my ****.. ur life is pointless.

Despite his complaints, Brown's album was expected to sell about 100,000 copies by the time this week's Billboard chart is published, trailing only the second Glee music soundtrack and British sensation Susan Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream.

Perhaps he should go back to anger management counseling.

Heidi Montag Pens Love Poem to Spencer Pratt

A woman of zero many talents, Heidi Montag now fashions herself a writer.

The Hills star recently penned a poem for her husband, Spencer Pratt, and - surprise, surprise! - she wants the whole world to read her expression of love.

"Here is a poem I wrote for my hubby Spencer [Pratt]," she Twittered.

In the untitled prose, Heidi writes about their "flawless lives" and how she has "no more anxiety or stress" because "all that matters" in this world is him.

Spencer and Heidi: the embodiment of true love.

You may vomit on cue. But if it's this or her giving interviews about him making her orgasm all day long ... maybe we can stomach the poem a little better.

Follow the jump to read the unintentionally hilarious prose from reality star, author, model, aspiring signer, full-time celebrity and now poet, Heidi Montag:

Spencer my love my heart my King
You are my world and my everything
I love you more than I could ever express
Especially when I have been such a mess
Every moment with you is beyond a blessing
2010 no more anxiety or stressing
All that matters in this universe is you
God has made us soul mates pure and true
Thank you for every detail you have done for me
You always go above and beyond and its always love I see
The moment I met you changed my world
Some would say it's been quite the swirl
I love every second of our lives together
With each other we cant get through any weather
I thank God for the miracle of you every day
I could never live life without you and I pray
That it's only going to get better all the time
All that matters in life is that you are mine
Thank you for loving and marrying me
I know it has a lot to do with the higher powers to be
Know that I love you with everything I have
With you by my side it out weighs all the bad
Sorry for ever not being the best wife
I am going to make it up to you my whole life
You are the most amazing, unique, special person to ever live
I thank Jesus that I was the one chosen for you to give
You positive love and light to me
Without you I would be so lost with no glee
Thank you for always taking such amazing care of me
You are the most selfless, loving, perfect, caring, miraculous soul to be
Every day I am in aw of you
All of you passions motives are always so pure and true
I feel bad for all the women in the world who don't have you
But sorry ladies there is one and I don't share
Iron and iron we are quite the pair
I will work on pull my strength and weight
Your so strong and incredible, there is no weakness in your traits
I'll love you for all eternity
Working everyday diligently
On making you happy and loving every second of our flawless lives
Life is so precious and the most is the honor of being you wife
It doesn't matter where we go or what we do
All I want in life is to be with you
Whatever our blessed features hold
In it together we will laugh, love, and one day grow old
Thank you thank you for always loving me
Sometimes I know it's not that easy
But 2010 is the start of a new life
Like I said there will be no strife
All that matters is the time we get to spend
That's all that matters when it comes to the end
Mrs. Pratt is coming out to stay
Never will I go back to my old other ways
It's a new beginning and era of love
We will be flying so high like the doves
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
You and God are the only things true
Love for eternity is what is to come though

Happy 21st Birthday, Vanessa Hudgens!

For her 21st birthday, Vanessa Hudgens will not be receiving a digital camera from me:P

However, our staff has chipped in and purchased many layers of clothing for the young star. After all, we wanna see her succeed on the big screen... just not as an adult film actress!

The rising star celebrates a milestone today, finally turning the legal drinking age. We'd imagine she raises a flute of champagne or two with dreamy boyfriend Zac Efron.

What do you get a young woman that has a successful career and a hunk on her arm? Aside from advice to never pose naked again, we can only come up with birthday wishes from an adoring public. Send them in today!

In honor of Hudgie Bear, we also present the following photo tribute. Click on each pic for a larger image...

Orlando Bloom & Miranda Kerr: Supposedly Engaged!

According to reports, Pirates of the Caribbean star Orlando Bloom is engaged to his model girlfriend Miranda Kerr. No, for real, this time he supposedly is.

Reports say he popped the question while on vacation in Morocco. They reportedly got engaged in May, too, but that was bogus. Is this time the real deal?

He and the Victoria's Secret model have been dating for nearly three years. According to OK!, the brother of Miranda Kerr confirmed the news, saying:

"He's finally done it. Orlando proposed. They're getting married.”

Well, that's good enough for us! The pair, who've been denying rumors of wedding bells for months, are reportedly planning to tie the knot next summer.

Congratulations if it's true! And we totally hope it is!

KERRBLOOM! Hopefully, this time the rumors are true.

Happy Birthday, Taylor Swift!

For her 20th birthday, we were gonna get Taylor Swift a quartet of Country Music Awards. But she already has those.

Then, we were gonna ensure her nomination for a slew of Grammys. But, nope, the singer has snagged those, too.

A fake ID, so she doesn't have to wait a year to drink legally? Nah. This isn't Miley Cyrus.

Might we honor the beauty with a spot on our Celebrity of the Year countdown? You'll find out soon!

For now, we're simply gonna offer Taylor gifts that money can't buy: our deepest appreciation of her talent, our gratitude for her normalcy, a request to readers to send in your birthday wishes to the superstar, and the photo montage below...

Report: Elin Woods to Divorce Tiger After Holidays

Elin Nordegren Woods, the scorned wife of disgraced golfer Tiger Woods, has decided to leave him after Christmas and is talking with a divorce lawyer.

That's according to largely un-sourced tabloid reports coming out of the UK, and has not been confirmed by either Woods. But would you blame her?

Sources say Elin wants the holiday season to appear normal for the couple's two children, Sam and Charlie, but will separate from Tiger shortly after.

Despite reports that Elin Woods moved out and is already back in her native Sweden, she remains in Central Florida with the two kids as of this posting.

Elin is said not to be in a huge rush to file divorce papers and that money is not a prime concern. Nor should it be, she'll be getting plenty regardless.

"I'll be taking the kids and a few hundred million, thanks."

The revelation of Tiger Woods' long list of mistresses caught her completely off guard and it’s a "raw" situation, according to friends of Elin Nordegren.

Amazing as it seems, Elin supposedly had no idea Tiger was cheating and the stress of the situation has caused her emotional and physical stress.

Unconfirmed rumors are also circulating that Tiger is still in touch with mistress Rachel Uchitel, the first of Tiger's many affairs to be publicly identified.

It also appears that Tiger, who just announced an indefinite break from golf, is in some type of counseling after Elin angrily insisted he see a therapist.

Will she stay with him? Should she stay with him? No matter how lucrative he makes the prenup, it's hard to imagine her giving him a second chance.